The Judge

So here’s the thing, many people believe that they somehow are allowed to judge the flawed lives of others and never once take a look at themselves first. They get all extra and create lots of drama for no reason. There’s people who literally live off drama. It’s always the people lacking standards who thrive in it. But they don’t know any better in order to do better so it’s almost expected behavior. My thing is that these drama Queens are the first to pass judgment on your life and choices within it. Yes people do have the right to their opinion but they also have the right to keep it to themselves! It’s okay to dislike someone, or even dislike them for no reason. But it’s not okay to disrespect, degrade, and humiliate that person. It’s also not okay to get a group of people together to dislike a person that you dislike. You can’t just be a hater by yourself?

Like Bill Bullard said Opinion is really the lowest form of human knowledge. It requires no accountability, no understanding. The highest form of knowledge is empathy, for it requires us to suspend our egos and live in another’s world. It requires profound purpose larger than the self kind of understanding.

Never judge someone by the opinion of another.

What is it about your life that makes you want to project? I mean people will have your name in everything but a prayer. You can not mistreat people then turn around and expect blessings in life. They go about things as it applies to them and form opinions based on their values and experiences not yours. Maybe it could be that you made a lot of poor choices and mistakes that you refuse to learn from, stop repeating, forgive yourself for, take responsibility of, not play the blame game and won’t move on after. Focused on the relationships that weren’t like yours because you tried to have the right thing with the wrong person. If they got right for the next you can also. You just have to believe you can and actually try. Worrying about why it worked out better with them or how they ended up with your life with that other person ain’t solving anything.

Chilling in the bitterness and enjoying being petty when what you envy wasn’t meant for you. Not willing to admit that your life ain’t all that to be saying a peep about anyone else’s. Respect yourself enough to walk away from anything that no longer serves you, grows you, or makes you happy. If you aren’t being treated with love and respect then do for yourself. It’s you who tells people what your worth is and you who determines your value. Don’t be upset that God had you on a different time table when your blessings are taking a little longer than you hoped or that others judged you about. Sometimes God will make you wait on purpose, not only so you will know it was His favor, but so no one will be able to deny what God has done in your life.

Funny thing is most people don’t even like their own life but want to tell you how you should live yours.

Wasting your time pointing out flaws you can’t seem to see in yourself. I think it stems from pain that doesn’t go away. I think we make room for past pain and sometimes let it take over so that it’s all we can see not just in ourselves but to project onto others. With time, love, forgiveness and healing it eventually takes up less room. We just need to fill up that space with positive, healthy and loving things. Examples of pain would be becoming jealous and checking to see what they’re doing, how they’re doing it and with whom they’re doing it with. Like how do you have that much time on your hands? Don’t worry about what others think. Not everyone deserves to know the real you. Let them criticize who they think you are.

There’s no way that you have any faith in what you’re trying to build if you keep second guessing the construction. Stop building them up for the next while they’re damaging you for the next. Some people portray a perfect relationship for the public, yet they are a complete mess in private. They love wearing that mask that comes off as soon as they get home. No one said be fake and brag about things when they aren’t what they really seem anyway. Look we don’t know what goes on behind closed doors.

Then there’s those that can’t take a hint to move on already. Move On!!! You did enough damage to people so let them be able to heal without you stalking them to make sure they’re still traumatized and living miserably just like you. Or bad mouthing them 24/7 about their mistakes forgetting that one of the decisions that person made was being with you. And just because they were one way with you doesn’t mean they were that way with someone else. People bring out different things in each other. That’s why there’s “the one.” Yes that one person that makes them be and do better. It wasn’t you but if you continue being how you are there won’t be someone to do the same for you. People change, they grow and evolve so what happened to them in the past was the old version of them. You can’t hold people to their past especially if they are trying to change in the present in order to have a better future. Leave it in the past!

Just because you have sex with someone over a long period of time doesn’t mean that you’re close to them. Some people will let you touch every part of their body, but won’t let you anywhere near their heart and soul. Some people will try so hard to make something out of nothing. I feel for those that were betrayed, cheated on, used and abused in their relationships like I was. That’s a hard thing to get over and heal from. It takes time and support from those that can sympathize and relate to the pain.

There are many that were lied to, conditioned and brainwashed in their relationships. The reason they don’t know they were is because they were lied to, conditioned and brainwashed.

The hate is so real these days but they pay none of our bills. People don’t like you just because your strength reminds them of their weakness. But I get it, you’re not on anyone’s radar anymore especially not my man’s so you get desperate and thirsty for attention. You’re irrelevant and a non-factor. Sad but true! Using people to make a name for yourself because you couldn’t be somebody all by yourself is just plain sad. That grass being greener nonsense you’re so stuck on. Water your own grass and it would be green too. I do not entertain crazy! Neither should you especially if you’re not about that drama filled life. “The tiger and the lion may be more powerful…..but the wolf does not perform in the circus!”

Jealousy isn’t always materialistic. People envy how others love you, show love to you and have love for you. People envy the way you handled situations they couldn’t, what would’ve broken them, didn’t break you. They envy because something they couldn’t get past, was a breeze for you!

Other relationship types like a parent being upset that the other parent left so they try to convince the kid that the other parent left them too. That’s an immaturity issue at its finest. No, you weren’t meant to be together in the first place so why force something and put up this facade for the kid to witness and be affected by? Everyone can’t have a perfect home of two parents, kids and a dog. Everybody can’t have the perfect marriage or that lasts the test of time. Do what you can and create a positive environment for everyone to exist in even if that means one less person. And know that everyone will have an opinion about your relationship. Outside influencers are always a problem for the relationship within. Not all can make it through all the different stages of life but anything can happen when the two of you work together as a team towards the same goal.

Your relationship doesn’t need to make sense to anyone, except you and your partner. It’s a relationship. Not a community project.

This was EVERYTHING my man and I needed to hear. It will make you look at love and relationships differently. It helps you to understand the “why” question we all have before and during a breakup that changes us for the good and bad in the next relationship. It determines whether you’re even ready to move on. You’re supposed to live and learn not live and loath, live and lust, live and limit or live a lie. Better to be slapped with the truth than kissed by a lie. The worst is when you lie to yourself. Believing you’re really over the person when all you do is focus on them and what they’re doing as they moved on. Relinquishing the control you had over them now that they’re showing you that you no longer affect them.

No one will or needs to understand why your relationship is the way it is but you. We’re not perfect but we’re perfect for each other. Everything that we’re about to embark on for the New Year is a perfect example of putting the past in the past and leaving it the hell there. No more allowing those that judge to have affect on us or giving attention to irrelevant people so that they can feel relevant in our lives. We can choose to let it define us, confine us, refine us, outshine us, or we can choose to move on and leave it behind us.

Just because some people are fueled by drama doesn’t mean you have to attend the performance. ~Cheryl Richardson