Warrior 2

I really love writing about my life experiences so that I can relate, influence, encourage, support, inspire, hey may even aggravate some people, I don’t really care. The point is writing is how I express myself and vent of course. If I don’t vent my nerves get the best of me, anxiety ensues and I freak out. We don’t need all that! I missed being me, just keeping it real and helping people get through these challenges in life. Folks really appreciate my brand of sarcasm instead of me trying to conform. Because I don’t conform!

So what does it mean to be a warrior? Pretty much fighting for survival whether it’s during a treatment for a disease or illness, getting through life’s struggles and surprise bumps in the road or reality in general. Life causes us to become warriors sometimes. I’m a “beauty warrior” because I fought my way through breast cancer not fearing anything during or after and looked good doing it. The process of gaining that strength made me better in all aspects of my life especially how I appear to others. It’s like it started internally and now shows externally. Never thought I could have more confidence and be able to defend myself against the constant hatred and judgment being thrown my way but I did. The fact is you need to do you and not care what anyone has to say about it.

I chose this title since I used to battle with who I was, who I am and who I want to be. The Big C will have you conflicted for awhile trying to figure out which version of yourself works best for you. That’s a decision I’m still making. When so-called friends abuse the position and give you lame excuses for not being a good friend in the first place, that affects things. When your career goals alter so that you now have options you didn’t have before or an unexpected love appears out of nowhere for the first time in your life and you finally know what happiness is, it affects everything. The life changes cause confusion as to what is the right thing to do or say. One decision could change your life forever. To some that’s scary but I’m not afraid of anything anymore. Fear was a crippling part of my life for way too long. If it wasn’t for cancer I wouldn’t be this strong badass you see today. When you face something bigger than your tiny fears it builds strength in you. If you let fear continue to take priority everything else in life becomes secondary or dead last.

People like to remind me of things. How I’m so strong, so fearless, so accomplished, so intelligent, so caring, so beautiful, so talented, so blessed. But that came with time and almost 40yrs of experience. I know who I was pre-cancer (I miss that version somewhat) who I became during cancer (the strongest version of myself that I never knew existed) and who I am post-cancer (a warrior still learning to live a whole new life when the fight is over). All three can not co-exist so a choice has to made as to how much you let affect. Most distractions, toxic beings and negative influences are non-factors to me. I pray for your strength as well as my own in this world because the struggle is too real. People really don’t know the difference between weak and strong. It’s not always a physical characteristic. It’s sometimes your character altogether. Sometimes it’s your mentality when faced with adversity or a personality trait. It’s how you treat others, view others and how you treat yourself. We all can see, hear and feel the difference. You can’t pretend to be something you’re not. I didn’t know I was strong or could be stronger until cancer. I was on the weaker side of the spectrum because I cared too much about the feelings of others. Now I don’t care what anyone thinks. God, prayer and my Wonder Woman persona got me through, not you or your ignorant opinions.

I know who I am……a Goddess! Strong, beautiful, Pink Warrior. Ask yourself are you a warrior? If not, what are you?

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