Devalued

“Don’t let messed up people mess you up. Hurting people hurt other people. Don’t base your value on the lies of people. Don’t spend your life trying to get something from people that they can not give. You don’t need their approval. You’re a masterpiece! Your value doesn’t come from people……..it comes from your creator.” Joel Osteen

I quote Joel Osteen very often because I swear he preaches exactly what I need to hear every Sunday. I used to question my value because of the rejection. I experienced rejection most of my life from just about everyone. I knew I had a lot to offer but no one who wanted to believe I did or who actually wanted what I was offering. I felt like I had to prove myself to people who do not matter. Show them that their opinions aren’t needed when it was my life that was in question and when God put in my heart that I was more than what they were reducing me to. They are so irrelevant yet I made them relevant. With all the disappointments that happen in life, it had stolen my joy and my sense of value at times. You can’t present yourself as valuable to anyone if you can’t see the value in yourself. How can someone be happy when the haters won’t stop hating? We tend to believe that we should be ashamed of the rejection and memorable pain that comes with it. Never be ashamed of your scars. They are proof that God heals and pain goes away. (Lamentations 3:22,23)

My love life is the worst. I go through guys, yes guys not men, like tissues. I had always believed in fairy tales and that I would one day get my happily ever after but with all the slim pickings it’s very hard. There’s no such thing as “Happily Ever After” so don’t get your hopes up. You’re lucky if you can even get happy. Be in my shoes and know what I’m going through. That’s what I would tell myself often. There’s nothing wrong with growing up and giving up on fairy tales and getting with the reality of things. Prince Charming today is broke ya’ll, ain’t got no job in the kingdom, might still live in his parent’s castle and his carriage is in his baby mama’s name if he has one at all. I’m just saying that my eyes were opened to some real things and those things don’t necessarily fall into fairy tale ideal so I stopped looking for that ever after and accepted that I just need to focus on the happy part. Fairy tales ain’t for everyone and I’m not mad if u still believe….do you!

I was advised that I would have to kiss a lot of frogs before I found a Prince anyway. I’m still wondering how many times I’m going to be stuck with warts though. I also am tired of these low life guys trying to bring me down to their levels. They have nothing going for themselves, lie, cheat and steal from me yet find the time to further disrespect me. Call me out of my name and make me feel like I’m not worthy. I’m not an after thought or a second choice. I deserve better! But for some reason these fools have been determining or horribly affecting my value. My scars aren’t quite healed yet so that might be why I can’t seem to attract someone that would be of better quality. Regardless of the projects I was stuck with I still managed to keep some hope alive that love is real. I need to know that it’s real so that my reality can be more like my dreams.

I believe that love is very powerful and can change the dynamic of any situation. Yes I’ve mentioned before that I don’t really know love yet but I know what it isn’t. I know it will heal me and bring about an awareness about myself that I never considered before. I know that God has heard my prayers and the desires of my heart that one day my Prince will come. It might even be a ‘happily-ever-after’ fairy tale ending, who knows. But what I do know is that I’m worthy of it. I deserve it because I’ve been through it. Never again will I allow another to keep my dream from becoming a reality or distorting the image I have of myself due to their messed up logic. Their messed up words, morals, values and treatment. Their messed up world, messed up lives that they negatively project onto me.
Life will try to make you feel like you’re not worthy. All through the day, despite what thoughts are telling you, despite who left you out, despite who said you weren’t good enough you have to remind yourself, “I am worthy, I am a masterpiece, I am wonderfully made.” Don’t discount what God has created. Don’t go around feeling ordinary when in fact you are extraordinary. Joel Osteen

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