The Lucky One

March is the best month of the year hands down. I don’t care if you disagree. This is the month of many things for me but mostly my birth. First I was born on the luckiest day St. Patrick’s Day! What sucks is everything is green your whole life including your high school colors and childhood bedroom. Good thing I don’t believe in luck because I have the worst of it. My life is full of pain, chronic pain to be exact. I’m what some would call an “Endo Warrior!” I just so happen to have Endometriosis and I was born during Endometriosis Awareness Month. How ironic is that? I’ve endured this for 30 years of my life with no one to relate to. The battle still continues unfortunately since there’s no cure, everything the doctor’s want to put me on will give me cancer again, I’m still single and childless. Yes I want to have children but unless you got a man for me to have them with keep your opinions to yourself.

Look I’m not old! I’m in my late 30s almost 40 but I look 22 so these doctors with their “your eggs are old so freeze them” nonsense can kiss my good gene having behind. If cancer didn’t damage my reproductive parts, I can have kids at any age. Endo was really the only health issue I had growing up. To get an idea of what I’ve been through I can give you a quick rundown.

  • Got my period at the age of 8 (no one had it then)
  • Had my first of 4 laparoscopic surgeries and 2 D&C’s at age 12 from a cyst that burst in my sleep
  • Endured 2 surgeries in high school and 2 in college
  • Was on birth control and Lupron shots for 20 years
  • An ER nurse at the college gave me my Lupron shot in correctly hitting my sciatic nerve and causing me permanent nerve damage
  • Diagnosed with Endometriosis at age 22
  • Doctor’s office called me in college on my birthday to say they saw cancer cells
  • Diagnosed with Breast Cancer at age 33 due to overproduction of Estrogen while being on birth control pills (a whole lot of woman)
  • Still have a cyst on both of my ovaries and one fibroid tumor (doctors just like to watch to see if it’s actually growing)
  • Had my first biopsy and the doctor told the entire office that I had the densest breast tissue she ever saw in her whole career (everyone was staring at me like a circus freak)
  • Had to do both Chemo and Radiation for treatment after 2 breast surgeries (Lumpectomy and hematoma removal)
  • Experienced syncopy while at the bank and was stuck 14 times in one sitting at the hospital ER (passed around like a human pin cushion)
  • Because I didn’t have a port during chemotherapy it ruined my veins so I get stuck at least twice every time I get blood work done
  • Developed chronic fatigue from my cancer treatments (I literally can’t get out of bed)
  • After years of gymnastics and competitive cheerleading my X-rays say I have degenerative spine arthritis and carpal tunnel in both of my hands
  • Diagnosed with Fibromyalgia at age 37 after doctors thought I had Lupus or an autoimmune disorder for years

This is just a small part of what I go through day to day. Multiple ER visits, numerous doctors, over 20 different medications, more than 40 ultrasounds, depression, anxiety, loss of jobs, failed relationships and every symptom you can think of. I can’t function like a normal woman if I wanted to. Trust me I tried! But being viewed as a strong super-heroine isn’t that bad. I mean minus all of the expectations people have of your strength, it’s my normal. Yes cancer changes your life as well but I was a warrior fighting through painful days way before cancer came along. In a way I am lucky that I’m still here to fight another day while so many can not. I have a wonderful support group for my cancer but am still looking for that same support and relation with Endo. So during this special month I encourage you to try to understand those of us that suffer from some kind of chronic debilitating illness. We try our best to fit in, be like everyone else and not warrant pity. Doctors don’t know much about what’s going on and there’s no cure for most illnesses but there is ongoing research being done to try to provide some relief. I would like to be a source of comfort and a voice to those that are like me. Life is tough but I’m tougher!