How to life

Life, hard as hell. People disrespecting your space, privacy and overall existence. They try to control your every move and selfishly put themselves before everyone else. Their actions always speak louder than their words. Can’t tell you how to navigate through it because no two journeys are the same. I can only tell you that it sucks and the only way to make it is to stay strong. Stay on the path and don’t allow these outside influences to stop your progress. Easier said than done. From every wound there is a scar, and every scar tells a story. A story that says “I have survived.” Turn your wounds into wisdom.

Who gives people the right to comment on the life of another? Who has the audacity to tell someone that they are just a burden while they fight to stay alive? Who is dumb enough to attack people going through health issues or are disadvantaged just to have an opinion on what they know nothing about? Plenty of people that I’m so blessed to encounter, not! Some people will pretend to care just so they can get a better seat to watch your struggle. Every helping hand isn’t always there to help.

I feel like the world lacks compassion, empathy and common decency. Folks could care less unless it benefits them in some way. Hurt someone’s feelings, bully their life choices, shatter their dreams because you can. I used to say that in college when anyone asked why I was wearing whatever I was wearing or doing what I’m doing. “Because I Can.” Today that’s used out of context since it’s used against others instead of a statement of pride in one’s self. You can’t do or say whatever if it affects another negatively. Never waste your time trying to explain who you are to people who are committed to misunderstanding you.

Yes I am a cancer survivor! I’m not ashamed of saying it. The hell I went through to even be writing my experiences was for a good reason. People tried to shame me for trying to find the positive in such a horribly traumatizing ordeal. But they don’t have the right to tell me how to feel when they never felt it or to discount those feelings. I almost died! Almost is most certainly close enough. It’s scary as hell and if you manage to survive you must adjust to a new normal. We had no choice in the matter. Just figure out how to continue being. But the hardest part is that you have to make adjustments as the haters stay chillin doing as they always do. Not everyone has the same understanding of life because not everyone is able to share the same perspective on it. Going through an ordeal that threatens your very existence will change everything for you and there’s no going back. A constant forward motion you have no control over yet are judged for. It’s hard to find someone who doesn’t ultimately start judging you and your choices ~ Sarah Silverman.

For others to jealously look down on you for having the strength they couldn’t obtain or courage they couldn’t build up is sickening. Haven’t we been through enough? Just ish on our parade as usual. Can never have our moment to be thankful for life, a second chance at it that’s not given to all. Always judged by the ignorant. I tell people “ignorance is bliss, don’t drown in it.” The definition of being ignorant is this: lacking knowledge or awareness in general; uneducated or unsophisticated. So if this is the mentality then why even bother to comment? Why say something just because you can but really shouldn’t if you are the pure definition of the word? I swear some people just want to be seen and are thirsty as hell for attention. It’s so incredibly sad to be so proud to represent behavior that is so low. Please don’t judge people. You don’t know what it took someone to get out of bed, look and feel as presentable as possible, and face the day. You never truly know the daily struggle of others ~ Karen Salmansohn.

Since it is Black History Month lets talk a little about blackness. I was so happy to finally have a black Disney Princess that can be relatable for so many and how do people ruin that you ask. Well to first not acknowledge the beautiful history of Louisiana yet accept all other cultures, have her as a regular everyday girl not coming from royal blood or a background unique to her culture and then talk about Voodoo when all the witches and black magic in the other movies was ok. Whatever! My black, as I proudly call it, is beautiful yet constantly judged and defined by European standards. Don’t take time out of your day to disrespect my lovely melanin because ain’t nobody here for it. It’s like my new friend in my head “Amara la Negra” who happens to be an Afro-Latino. No that doesn’t mean she’s Latino with an afro. She represents the group of Latinos that are often ignored because they don’t fit that typical Latino description much like how the rest of the world presents their darker skinned people. There’s always the public culture and then the private one most won’t hardly acknowledge. Learn about colorism please and educate yourself enough to dilute the ignorance. Recognize that just about every race has a spectrum of colors light to dark but that doesn’t make them any more or less the culture they represent. It really makes no sense whatsoever to me that the world sees white as goodness, pure and clean yet black or dark as dirty, poor, less than, shameful, evil and the disgusting list goes on. I mean if that was so true why do lighter pigmented people tan? Aren’t you trying to achieve a darker tone? Why were black women so desirable during slavery? Yeah let that marinate. When a man tells a Black woman that she looks mixed as a form of endearment, he’s insinuating that her beauty comes from the (allegedly) non-black part of her. All they’re effectively saying is: “You’re too beautiful to just be Black.” Oh, but I am! We aren’t beautiful in spite of our Blackness, we are beautiful because of it.

We come in all shapes and sizes, many different beautiful shades, have so many textures to our hair, we are located in many different regions and areas all over the world, we are raised many ways (as I like to say “Home-training”), we are educated to many degrees……but the reason we aren’t strong as a people is because some of us are more concerned with the next person being exactly like us instead of respecting that that difference from us is still acceptable. I will not and do not need to prove my “blackness” to anyone point blank period. If you’re not happy with the fact I don’t fit the stereotype then keep it moving. To knock my progress in life only shows that you’re not progressing at all. We should be supporting each other no matter what and in that we will become a better human race. I can choose to let it define me, confine me, refine me, outshine me, or I can choose to move on and leave it behind me.

A real relationship is about two things: Appreciating the similarities, and respecting the differences. I hope for the day that people can be more relational to each other instead of a bunch of hurtful drama filled ignorant groupies. No one can judge your journey no matter how much they think they can. Live your life, live your truth, live with the temporary situations and people, live with the wisdom gained from your experiences and continue to do you. I’m not a fan of your level of ignorance nor will I stoop so low as to entertain it. Just because some people are fueled by drama doesn’t mean you have to attend the performance.

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