As I think about black history month I wonder why we have to even have it. Black people’s accomplishments have been so overlooked and stolen to redesign for the benefit of the white man to the point we’re erased from overall American history. Why is it if something is “pro-black” it automatically is “anti-white?” Whites weren’t even the first people to inhabit this country so why do they get to determine what is good/bad, acceptable/unacceptable, true/false, honorable/dishonorable, great/deplorable, appropriate/inappropriate for everyone else? If you took away all that blacks have attributed to America trust and believe we wouldn’t be as advanced and the force we present ourselves as to the rest of the world.

Being enslaved for hundreds of years not knowing your ancestral background or able to retrace your footsteps back to a continent (yes the huge continent of Africa with many countries, classes, tribes of people) or acknowledged as a decent human being in the country you now reside in is disheartening. I don’t care that it’s in the past. It’s not your past to comment on! If the past isn’t corrected it will continue to affect the present and help form the future so that history is repeated for generations just to different degrees. Just like I’m not very political I’m also not super feminist or into my blackness 24/7. That doesn’t mean I can’t speak on my truth and that of my people. No I’m not all black yet I do talk about my other parts that were also colonized, darn near destroyed, raped of its culture and history to elevate this American dream. I don’t get how if it doesn’t affect you directly the choices are to either make a racist fuss about it, try to whiten/ whitewash it, or stand silently by. We all know right from wrong whether it affects your well-being or not because it has no color. But it’s not for anyone that isn’t a POC to tell someone who is a POC how to feel about anything that affects their color just because it doesn’t affect you. Making up sayings like “race baiting” to use as an excuse to never have to fully address certain topics that affect races outside of your own or saying “the race card or it’s not about race” isn’t helping the cause. It’s not about race to you because it does not relate to your race. That doesn’t mean you can’t be compassionate and sympathetic to the cause and how it harmfully affects another. Imagine what it’s like to never know where you come from and where you’re going in a new place. That’s what it means to be black in America!

Hair being real or fake it’s nothing but an accessory people. Trust me, I lost my hair from chemo and it grew back. Being bald or wearing a wig didn’t take away from who I was and how I represent my beauty. Same goes for you! Now when it comes to hairstyles that’s a different story. It might just be hair to you but some styles come from other cultures and need to be respected. I hate seeing any POC rocking a style and get ridiculed and called every derogatory ignorant name in the book yet the minute a white person tries it out it’s all the rage, the new hot trend. I’ve watched everything from black hair to Latin dancing to Bollywood to Martial Arts to Yoga to makeup to music to fashion and much more get taken and made greater by white people. Who gives them the right to rewrite the history and culture of others? That’s America for ya! Can’t appreciate and respect things as they are. Always have to whiten it to make it better. Then tell us don’t be proud of your heritage and honor your people any further than we allow you to.

I had a white woman say to me that black people can’t grow their hair that long. Umm wrong! Like we need a reason to wear wigs, weaves or extensions seriously? We like to switch it up just like you, just like everyone else. No need to try to put anyone on blast for being expressive. It’s like she had no idea that black people also are born with blonde hair and blue eyes. There are plenty with long hair but some like a short style. Get over yourself and your ignorant superiority complex please.

I’ve heard another white person say “they don’t need safe spaces when they already have their own stuff like the NAACP, Greek Organizations and schools.” First let’s get something straight, we didn’t separate ourselves from everything. Being excluded causes others to create something that we can be apart of and can thrive in society ok. There are other groups that felt they needed to do the same so don’t sit up here thinking you did anyone a favor so now we need to stay put until you believe we should progress. Funny thing is these other organizations are inclusive and diverse. They may have started for one particular reason but that didn’t make them exclusive to those groups. Only white organizations to this day still try to stay all white. Why? White isn’t a culture. It means clear, void of color, so why concern yourselves with what the colorful people are doing? Why does it bother you so much that another group of people chooses to be proud of their color, their culture, their history? Is it because it doesn’t benefit you or it doesn’t praise you for their existence and successes or maybe because you just can’t understand or relate? It doesn’t NEED to! Just respect it and accept it as it is. Try to understand as much as you can instead of tear down something beautiful so it’s deemed ugly. Tear down someone else so you can rise. Shameful behavior!

News Flash: nothing done to another group of people in history by the whitening has ever stopped them from fighting, growing, building and striving to stay present. Tried to wipe out races of people and guess what, they are still here and ain’t going nowhere. So how about be the America you falsely advertise to be. That melting-pot of cultural richness and diversity. Together as one, loving not hating. Every race that shaped this country being acknowledged as a superior unique nation. That makes for great history!

How to life

Life, hard as hell. People disrespecting your space, privacy and overall existence. They try to control your every move and selfishly put themselves before everyone else. Their actions always speak louder than their words. Can’t tell you how to navigate through it because no two journeys are the same. I can only tell you that it sucks and the only way to make it is to stay strong. Stay on the path and don’t allow these outside influences to stop your progress. Easier said than done. From every wound there is a scar, and every scar tells a story. A story that says “I have survived.” Turn your wounds into wisdom.

Who gives people the right to comment on the life of another? Who has the audacity to tell someone that they are just a burden while they fight to stay alive? Who is dumb enough to attack people going through health issues or are disadvantaged just to have an opinion on what they know nothing about? Plenty of people that I’m so blessed to encounter, not! Some people will pretend to care just so they can get a better seat to watch your struggle. Every helping hand isn’t always there to help.

I feel like the world lacks compassion, empathy and common decency. Folks could care less unless it benefits them in some way. Hurt someone’s feelings, bully their life choices, shatter their dreams because you can. I used to say that in college when anyone asked why I was wearing whatever I was wearing or doing what I’m doing. “Because I Can.” Today that’s used out of context since it’s used against others instead of a statement of pride in one’s self. You can’t do or say whatever if it affects another negatively. Never waste your time trying to explain who you are to people who are committed to misunderstanding you.

Yes I am a cancer survivor! I’m not ashamed of saying it. The hell I went through to even be writing my experiences was for a good reason. People tried to shame me for trying to find the positive in such a horribly traumatizing ordeal. But they don’t have the right to tell me how to feel when they never felt it or to discount those feelings. I almost died! Almost is most certainly close enough. It’s scary as hell and if you manage to survive you must adjust to a new normal. We had no choice in the matter. Just figure out how to continue being. But the hardest part is that you have to make adjustments as the haters stay chillin doing as they always do. Not everyone has the same understanding of life because not everyone is able to share the same perspective on it. Going through an ordeal that threatens your very existence will change everything for you and there’s no going back. A constant forward motion you have no control over yet are judged for. It’s hard to find someone who doesn’t ultimately start judging you and your choices ~ Sarah Silverman.

For others to jealously look down on you for having the strength they couldn’t obtain or courage they couldn’t build up is sickening. Haven’t we been through enough? Just ish on our parade as usual. Can never have our moment to be thankful for life, a second chance at it that’s not given to all. Always judged by the ignorant. I tell people “ignorance is bliss, don’t drown in it.” The definition of being ignorant is this: lacking knowledge or awareness in general; uneducated or unsophisticated. So if this is the mentality then why even bother to comment? Why say something just because you can but really shouldn’t if you are the pure definition of the word? I swear some people just want to be seen and are thirsty as hell for attention. It’s so incredibly sad to be so proud to represent behavior that is so low. Please don’t judge people. You don’t know what it took someone to get out of bed, look and feel as presentable as possible, and face the day. You never truly know the daily struggle of others ~ Karen Salmansohn.

Since it is Black History Month lets talk a little about blackness. I was so happy to finally have a black Disney Princess that can be relatable for so many and how do people ruin that you ask. Well to first not acknowledge the beautiful history of Louisiana yet accept all other cultures, have her as a regular everyday girl not coming from royal blood or a background unique to her culture and then talk about Voodoo when all the witches and black magic in the other movies was ok. Whatever! My black, as I proudly call it, is beautiful yet constantly judged and defined by European standards. Don’t take time out of your day to disrespect my lovely melanin because ain’t nobody here for it. It’s like my new friend in my head “Amara la Negra” who happens to be an Afro-Latino. No that doesn’t mean she’s Latino with an afro. She represents the group of Latinos that are often ignored because they don’t fit that typical Latino description much like how the rest of the world presents their darker skinned people. There’s always the public culture and then the private one most won’t hardly acknowledge. Learn about colorism please and educate yourself enough to dilute the ignorance. Recognize that just about every race has a spectrum of colors light to dark but that doesn’t make them any more or less the culture they represent. It really makes no sense whatsoever to me that the world sees white as goodness, pure and clean yet black or dark as dirty, poor, less than, shameful, evil and the disgusting list goes on. I mean if that was so true why do lighter pigmented people tan? Aren’t you trying to achieve a darker tone? Why were black women so desirable during slavery? Yeah let that marinate. When a man tells a Black woman that she looks mixed as a form of endearment, he’s insinuating that her beauty comes from the (allegedly) non-black part of her. All they’re effectively saying is: “You’re too beautiful to just be Black.” Oh, but I am! We aren’t beautiful in spite of our Blackness, we are beautiful because of it.

We come in all shapes and sizes, many different beautiful shades, have so many textures to our hair, we are located in many different regions and areas all over the world, we are raised many ways (as I like to say “Home-training”), we are educated to many degrees……but the reason we aren’t strong as a people is because some of us are more concerned with the next person being exactly like us instead of respecting that that difference from us is still acceptable. I will not and do not need to prove my “blackness” to anyone point blank period. If you’re not happy with the fact I don’t fit the stereotype then keep it moving. To knock my progress in life only shows that you’re not progressing at all. We should be supporting each other no matter what and in that we will become a better human race. I can choose to let it define me, confine me, refine me, outshine me, or I can choose to move on and leave it behind me.

A real relationship is about two things: Appreciating the similarities, and respecting the differences. I hope for the day that people can be more relational to each other instead of a bunch of hurtful drama filled ignorant groupies. No one can judge your journey no matter how much they think they can. Live your life, live your truth, live with the temporary situations and people, live with the wisdom gained from your experiences and continue to do you. I’m not a fan of your level of ignorance nor will I stoop so low as to entertain it. Just because some people are fueled by drama doesn’t mean you have to attend the performance.