Not in the Spirit

This is supposed to be happiest time of the year. Yeah I get it but life happens and usually during the holidays. People get so focused on buying gifts and spending money that most don’t have in the first place. I’m a regifter, no shame in mine whatsoever. I look at it like this, I enjoy giving gifts. I mostly like to get really creative with it by doing edible gifts, making baskets and using a theme. Don’t really care to get gifts in return but I appreciate the thought. My issue is that I always get people what they need. I will not get you just anything. But folks tend to just get me whatever. Ok instead of letting it sit taking up space because it isn’t remotely even my taste, I give it to someone who will definitely appreciate it. I got others in on the tradition as well. I keep what I like though so this isn’t every gift. Just had to put that out there before folks start catching feelings.

What I’ve learned in my 37yrs is that the holidays are more about being with loved ones and people you care about, not presents. Granted not many get to spend time with their families and reminisce about the good ol’ days. I could definitely go without a single gift if I could hang with my cousins. I like when people help those that aren’t as fortunate to have family or anything at all. Like I don’t get why in this great country we have poor and homeless people especially Vets. It’s cold out and the thought of people freezing with nowhere to stay warm and have nothing to eat angers me. I’m not rich but if I was I would do what I could to help end homelessness and hunger. That might just be me but I think if all the rich people contributed some of their incomes it could fix the problem. Just saying, it’s a thought, a good one but a thought.

Basically this year I’m not really feeling the Christmas spirit so to speak. Many are battling the Big C, some lost the battle, others have different health concerns, there’s financial struggles, career changes etc. With so much going on how could anyone put presents as a priority? Well people can and do. That’s fine, I’m a firm believer in doing things for others and you will be rewarded in due time. You know put good energy out and it will be returned. Treat people how you want to be treated. I mean Jesus is the reason for the season anyway. Well in my house at least. I respect other beliefs as well. I never believed in Santa because I knew where the gifts really came from and when your dad is a State Trooper the idea of a fat intruder somehow getting into your house while you’re sleeping through our fireplace didn’t sound quite right.

So goodwill, peace, love, joy or whatever. If only folks lived by that all the time and not just use the words when December comes around and a new year is about to begin. They don’t want to go into the next year the same insensitive, selfish, uncaring jerk they were the previous year. They want to wipe the slate clean. Well I just want that same holiday spirit when the holidays aren’t happening. Maybe I care too much as I’ve been told before. But what’s wrong with caring all the time? I give so much of myself all year long that I barely have extra during the holidays. So call me a Grinch because I’m not hype on the songs, the decorations, the cookies (I prefer cake) and buying unnecessary things. Most people only see each other or even speak to each other once a year anyway so I don’t see why your presence isn’t gift enough. It gives me a good reason to shop, my favorite past time but life is so short that being around folks is priceless. I know what it’s like to almost not see another holiday. Heck another year! That’s why I don’t put too much into this. It’s another day that I’m thankful to see and spend with family. To get all into the spirit while so many struggle, sorry I’m just not feeling it.


I hate social media sorry not sorry. It’s not for me. It’s not for a lot of people but should we be faulted for it? Nope because I didn’t grow up using it. I was around when the world wide web first came about. For those wondering, that’s what www” means. Ok anyway I saw the very first cell phone that was ginormous and I was there when AIM made it’s first appearance. I had a pager, a house phone with a dial, a walkman, disc man and a black & white tv. Most youngins don’t know what the heck I’m talking about. But if you call me old so be it. Hey at least I still look younger than you.

The point is social media has changed how people communicate and lack there of. It made things too easy, people lazy, vain and privacy a thing of the past. There’s more bullying, harassment and judgment of people they don’t even know or would ever know outside of the computer screen. Reality is completely nonexistent. Folks get internet tough but can’t back it up or even step to being as vicious as they are typing away attacking those that threaten to expose their insecurities. I’m a good judge of character and still can smell the bs behind the keystrokes.

My biggest issue is friends. I have them, may not be many but I know who the real ones are. People think because they’re in your friend list, can read your posts, follow you and are allowed to reply to you that they know you and you’re their friend. Umm no! Those that truly know me are aware that I take the word friend extremely serious. It’s not a game to just bestow a title upon someone because you know my name. You don’t know me past it. You have to earn the title with me and never ever try to cause harm to me in any way to be considered my friend. If you’re not up to par you’re an acquaintance or less, barely existent. I have no problem cutting you off if you do choose to hurt me. It took a very long time for me to figure out who is really my friend and who is nothing more than a wolf in sheep’s clothing. Social media gives the delusion that everyone is your BFF but I don’t have a best friend.

That you can say anything you want, voice your opinion and comment about lives you don’t live. It’s like people weren’t raised right. No morals, values, respect or class.

Having so much confidence because that’s what it does, builds your confidence like someone is actually checking for you. They want attention and are thirsty enough to throw you all the way under the bus to get it. I would rather limit my exposure and connect with people in a way that doesn’t pose questions about whether who I am is actually who I am or just an online persona. For real people completely reinvent themselves and hide behind a computer. It’s sad that it’s come to this. You can’t just be yourself and be accepted as such. And don’t get me started on selfies. I’ve never seen people so consumed with their appearance that they must chronicle every facial expression, event, moment. Then instead of helping people who clearly are in need of help, folks video and upload online for the world to see. Everything has been tarnished by social media but I refuse to let it affect my life.

If you don’t like me for whatever reason, cool. Stay away from me how about that! Folks always coming for people like it’s ok to do so. Even with dating, get to know someone for goodness sake. Sex is not a foundation for a relationship. If that’s all you want then a relationship is not what you want. Having depth is not something everyone cares about. Shallow surface only people don’t have depth so that’s all you get. Dating through social media makes it easy to do things that people probably wouldn’t do in their everyday lives or are able to do even more damage because of. Can’t always keep it real or know that is real when it’s not reality.

The only good thing about being online is that you can block people. I so wish that was an option in real life. It forces people to do what they somehow are unable to do on their own which is leave folks be. I do not care if you like me or not. Just know what you get in person is exactly what you get online. I sugar coat nothing and I have no reason to lie about anything. I’m too grown to be about the nonsense some thrive and base their whole lives on. The drama! That is what social media breeds. So many get sucked into it yet don’t know how to disassociate with it. We give them access to what they’re ignorant to, our lives. At the end of the day you choose how much you want to connect in and be apart of this jaded society. I commend those that are anti social because they get to dodge a huge bullet. Life is hard enough without all the extra drama. But I had friends and a life before it so no need to change how I socialize now. Making irrelevant people relevant……….no more.